Ace Club House Blog

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KSU TUSC ACE Clubhouse Benefit in the Bargain Hunter

The ACE Clubhouse Easter Extravaganza spaghetti dinner fundraiser is set for Sunday, April 17, 2011 from 11:30 AM to 4 PM at Kent State University, Tuscarawas. There will be door prizes, a gift basket drawing, a 50/50 drawing, pictures with the Easter Bunny, an Easter Egg Hunt at 2:00 PM for children ages 0 to 12, and more! Tickets are $7.00 for adults, $6.00 for seniors and $5.00 for children under 12. They are available by calling 330-407-3561 (Sandy) or 330-407-2746 (Ariel), or they can be purchased at the door. This event is sponsored by the Kent State Tuscarawas Case Studies in Management Class. Please show your support with your presence or your donation, and help us support those who are building a life of recovery from mental illness!

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ACE in the Bargain Hunter

Thank you to the Dominion company, and specifically to Dominion East Ohio, for their generous contribution of $1,000. We thank you for the strong support you have shown to us here at ACE, but even more for all you do in our community. This grant will help us in the work we do to support recovery and wellness in the mental health community of Tuscarawas and Carroll Counties. Thanks, Dominion!

Thank you to the Business Club of Kent State University Tuscarawas for “adopting” us and helping with our operating expenses (toilet paper, paper towels, disposable dinnerware, plasticware, Clorox wipes, liquid handsoap, dishwashing liquid, air freshener, Lysol spray, cleaning products, etc.)! And a special thank you for the $300 check you presented us with this week! You are a great help and support to us, and we appreciate your friendship more than words can express. Thank you!

1. Accept the likelihood of your pain.

2. Feel whatever it is you feel. Understand that your feelings are yours – and they are normal.

3. Express your emotions. Talk, pray, write, cry. Be yourself.

4. Plan ahead. What can you control? What concerns you most? What will you do if/when you feel bad? What else might help?

5. Take charge where you can. Eat, drink, sleep, exercise, and say “yes” when you should and “no” when you need to.

6. Turn to others for support. Find those who care and can understand, and lean on them. Ask for help.

7. Be gentle with yourself. Care for yourself the way you would your best friend, or a little child. Don’t “should” – (“I should be better than this” or “I shouldn’t feel this way”).

8. Remember to remember. Take time to remember. Do something in remembrance.

9. Search out and count your blessings.

10. Do something for others.

11. Give voice to your soul. Pray, meditate, read, and listen to music.

12. Use ritual when you can.

13. Harbor hope. Be hopeful. Things will get better.

14. Remember- there is no right or wrong way to handle the holiday season. Find the way that fits you best.

If you are approaching the holidays with dread rather than breathless anticipation, take heart. And take our advice.

It is completely natural to feel blue at this time of year, especially if you are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Grief can feel even sharper this year because of financial stresses.

If you walk through the front entrance of stores and don’t feel glee as you spot a huge Christmas tree and hear the first few notes of “Jingle Bells,” don’t be hard on yourself.

In fact, the most important thing during the holidays is to ease up, says Sue Fiduccia, the coroner of Winnebago County, near Rockford, who sees her share of grief year-round. Her advice to people who have suffered the loss of loved ones?

“If they don’t want to do Christmas this year, then don’t do Christmas,” Fiduccia said.

In other words, if you don’t want to host the holidays at your house, don’t. If you want to go to a restaurant for Christmas dinner, why not? If you want to spend the day with good friends and catch up with family later, consider it a plan.

The best gift is to take care of yourself. Get seven or eight hours of sleep a night, eat well-balanced meals and continue your exercise routine.

Tom Zuba of Rockford suggests thinking about what will bring you the most peace: Keeping traditions intact? Tweaking the familiar habits and adding new ones? Whatever works.

Zuba should know: His 18-month-old daughter Erin died suddenly in 1990. His wife, Trici, 43, died suddenly, too, on New Year’s Day 1999. His 13-year-old son Rory died from brain cancer in 2005, leaving Zuba and his son, Sean, to sort out of the meaning of a life filled with so many losses.

“Flying to Florida and completely skipping the holidays this year? It’s OK to do that,” Zuba advises.

As for those who would like to help people dealing with loss, Zuba says some things have particular promise in making the season more bearable.

Most important is to mention the dead person by name. Don’t expect the grieving person to want to socialize immediately, but try anyway. –

Rockford (Ill.) Register Star

For the person who has experienced the loss of someone they love, this can be a legitimate question during the holiday season. At a time when everyone is expected to be happy and grateful for their blessings, the bereaved often feel more hurt, alone and empty than at any other time of the year. It is very difficult to think about what we have when we are overwhelmed by the pain of missing what we have lost.

Yet, family and friends can sometimes expect us to go through the holidays and participate as we always have, even pointing out to us what we should be thankful for. The problem with that is that giving thanks has to come from within. It is not something that someone else can do for us. When someone tries to tell us what we should be thankful for, it can accentuate the hurt we already feel. It can feel as if we are being told that the person we lost, the love we shared and the life they lived were not as important as what we still have. It disrespects our loss.

Perhaps a better way to look at the idea of giving thanks would be to ask “Do we have to give thanks?”. We may know that we “should”, but do we “have to?” The answer is, of course, no. This is only one holiday season, one year, one time when we may choose to not participate. Our feelings may change and we may make a different choice next year, or for the next holiday. We may need to give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves in our own way.

Another question we may need to ask is “Should we try?”. And the answer is, probably. It may hurt to look around us to see what we have to be thankful for, to see what we still have, but it may also be a way for us to help ourselves heal, in some small way. Seeing what we still have will not take away the pain and emptiness we feel, but it may remind us that the world is not completely dark. In the black sky of grief there are still some stars to help light our way.

So, what do we have to be thankful for? I believe we need to start small and work our way up. We can be thankful for a kind word or a smile from a stranger. We can be grateful for the person who motions us ahead at a stop sign. And we can give thanks for the relief that falling asleep may give us from our pain.

We can acknowledge that we do have a few supportive friends and family who try to understand how we feel. We can be thankful for those who think of us and keep us in their prayers. We can be grateful for those who still mention our loved ones name and share their memories with us. We can express our gratitude to God and our parents for instilling in us a faith that can help us to continue to limp through this life we now have.

We can also be grateful for our pain. Without the ability to feel the pain we have now, we would not have had the ability to experience the great love we shared. Most of all, perhaps, we can be thankful for the one we love so dear. The moments we shared, the memories we made and the lessons we learned together are all a part of what we lost, but are also part of what we have still. We have lost a lot, but we may also have a few things to be thankful for. Maybe more than we first realized. When you are ready, look at the gifts you have been given, no matter how small. If we only concentrate on the dark night of grief, we will never see the stars.

I love a great quote and I found this one to be very intriguing, and appropriate for everyone, but especially our members here at ACE:

You must constantly ask yourself these questions:

Who am I around?
What are they doing to me?
What have they got me reading?
What have they got me saying?
Where do they have me going?
What do they have me thinking?
And most important, what do they have me becoming?

Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay?

–Jim Rohn

Congratulations to all who worked so hard to pass issue 7, the local mental health levy supporting the Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Services Board of Tuscarawas and Carroll counties! Your efforts have made a huge difference in the lives of all those who depend on the agencies supported by the ADAMHS Board for treatment, case management, crisis support and staying well every day. Thank you to all who gave their time and monetary support for this important funding source of local services!

Thank you, as well, to everyone in our community who exercised their right to vote and expressed themselves, whether for or against the levy. We are glad the levy passsed, but we are grateful to live in a country where people have a choice as to which local services they feel are important enough to fund with their hard-earned dollars. Thank you for voting and thank you for restoring funding to some much needed services!

Lastly, thank you to all those who felt the services offered by the local mental health system are one of the many reasons Tuscarawas County is a great place to live. We have a beautiful area to call home and our quality of life here is second to none. Part of what makes this such a great place to call home is community support and the fact that we care about each other. I’m proud to say this is where I live. Thank you for your vote and thank you for caring about those who need our help!